


Life In The Big City

by Bilbosama



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Crack Fic, cloudy with a chance of godzilla, more tags will be added eventually, the author will probably regret this someday
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-01-09 04:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12269094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bilbosama/pseuds/Bilbosama
Summary: There's a lot of things to adjust to when you move to Tokyo. The crowds, the lack of space, the scheduled monster attacks, the quick life expectancy of trends...





	1. It Begins

**Author's Note:**

> The backstory for this nonsense is that sometimes when I'm trying to sleep, I get dumb ideas. Also, I've been on tvtropes too long again and the City of Adventure page spoke to me and I couldn't resist.
> 
> Akira, being new to the city, shall be my Designated POV Character.
> 
> And uh, yeah, I'm aware of Megatokyo having a similar thing happening in the background but I didn't remember about Megatokyo until I was almost done with this chapter whoops.
> 
> Disclaimer: Don't own Persona 5 or any references to franchises that may appear later on. I'm just some nerd with a laptop and a lot of boredom.

Akira had been in Tokyo for nine days when everyone's phones in class chimed. Curious, he reached into his bag and pulled out his own.

'Scheduled invasion in Shinjuku at 5 PM. Please avoid area until all clear.'

He looked around the room and noticed his classmates and the teacher calmly put their phones away.

"Ugh, dad's going to be late again," someone whispered.

"I hope this wont cause train delays again," another said quietly.

"Look at the transfer student's face! He doesn't know..."

Startled, Akira placed his phone away as the teacher called for order.

He hesitated on asking for clarification about the mass text and the rational part of his mind kicked in. It's just a prank. It's a prank that everybody is in on except him. He'll talk to Ryuji and Ann about it later.

* * *

After class, he picked up his now Morgana filled school bag and found himself surrounded by Ann, Mishima, and Ryuji.

"So, uh, we've been thinkin'," said Ryuji, looking at him in a mixture of amusement and concern, "that you probably didn't get the brochure before you got here."

"Brochure?"

"About adjusting to certain aspects of Tokyo," added Mishima, "like monster attacks."

Akira stared at the three of them in disbelief before he uttered, "What the fuck?"

* * *

The train station turned out to have a set of pamphlets that Akira and Morgana hadn't noticed before because certain other priorities took more brain power to deal with that tourist trap map guides became background noise.

The short version, according to the pamphlet, was that large cities like Tokyo attract strange phenomena. Fifteen years ago, Tokyo decided that if events such as monster attacks are going to happen, then it might as well control when and where that happened. It has been mostly successful. Since then, there has been less property damage and casualties.

Ann and Ryuji were reluctant to go to the Metaverse on a Scheduled Event Day and so Akira returned to Leblanc.

Sakura-san looked up as the bell rang and found Akira entering the cafe, "Glad you made it back before the last minute evacuation rush."

Akira gaped at him, "you're in on it too?"

"In on what?" the older man raised an eyebrow at his charge who exasperatedly held up a pamphlet.

"This is a joke, right?"

"...Oh yeah," Sakura-san rubbed against the back of his neck, "I had a feeling I forgot to tell you something important."

Akira sputtered and raised his arms in the air, "That's it, I'm done with today. I'll be upstairs." He petulantly went upstairs to the attic.

* * *

Sakura-san came up later that night and said, "Dinner's ready."

His charge looked up from his desk where he was doing homework and looked like he was going to lash out and yell before he sighed.

It was the most expressive he has ever been since he arrived.

"It's not joke, isn't it?" Akira looked resigned. Morgana seemed to look at him in concern and meowed. Akira absently bent down in his seat and scratched behind the cat's ears.

"It's not," Sakura-san confirmed as all three walked went downstairs, "Sorry for not giving you the heads up sooner."

There was a pause before the teen behind him asked "How can people here live with this?"

"It used to be a lot worse," said Sakura-san as he went to the curry pot to scoop out leftover curry onto a plate for Akira. Akira, meanwhile, had picked up Morgana's bowl and did his best to reach the counter without tripping over an excited cat.

"Yeah?"

"Without the scheduling and a warning, there was more people killed in attacks. It was treated like a part of living in Tokyo but when you survive three days of everything exploding around you, it gets to you, you know? That's why people are so worried about the mental shutdowns and the breakdowns happening lately. They weren't announced ahead of time and so there's more injuries and chaos as a result." Sakura-san placed Akira's dinner plate on the other end of the counter so it wouldn't be contaminated by cat food.

"So if the person or people behind that went to city hall and said "I am going to break somebody's brain today," it'll be fine?"

Sakura-san shugged, "Probably."

Akira frowned as he put down the food bowl, "This place is nuts."

"Kid, you don't know how nuts it can get."

* * *

-A couple of weeks later-

"So if we send a calling card, the treasure may appear!" Mona concluded.

"But...don't we need to give a bigger heads up first or something?" asked Joker.

"What do you mean?" asked Panther.

"Y'know...like get it scheduled?"

"Oh," Skull huffed and shook his head, "Nah, this is good enough for the pencil pushers."

"As long as we give a warning, it's fine," added Panther.

Joker blinked in confusion before shaking his head, "Well, alright then."

For a group of thieves whose powers were sparked by rebellion, they are ironically still abiding the law.

Maybe that would curry to their favor someday.


	2. Eavesdropping For Dummies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like back when I first started on this story, I had all kinds of ideas and then lost them to writer's block. After a fandom break, I've gotten the urge to write again so here I am.
> 
> This fic is where I'm going to dump all of the dumb crack fic ideas I get sometimes because there's already an excuse for Weird Shit to happen so...yeah.
> 
> I'm also sticking with Akira instead of Ren because I'm too attached to the name and also because I'm too lazy to go back and change names around in all of my P5 fics I've made so far. When I get around to writing something unrelated to previous stories, I'll use Ren. That's my stance on this.

One of the things Akira noticed about living in Tokyo was that it was pretty easy to eavesdrop on conversations. A lot of people would just stand around on the sidewalk and just talk.

For example, he once learned some lines one could use to flirt with women with from overhearing a couple of pick-up artists.

He later tested them with Ann. She just laughed and called him a dork.

Maybe it was because he wasn't charming enough...?

Anyway, today he paused in front of an alley as he noticed a couple of weirdly dressed teenagers arguing. He quickly moved to a wall edge so he can be out of sight and started to fiddle with his phone as an alibi.

Niijima-senpai, who followed him all the way to Shibuya, peered over her manga magazine as if to spy on his phone use from the other side of the alley entrance.

"Are we sure this is Shibuya?" asked one of the teens, a boy with silver hair.

"Yeah, it feels like Shibuya," answered his spiky haired companion.

"It feels like Shibuya," Silver parroted, skeptical.

"That's the vibe I'm getting," said Spiky, "but like...it also feels like there's a layer beneath it?"

Akira paused. Can this guy sense the Metaverse? Morgana shifted in Akira's school bag, as if trying to listen in too.

Silver shifted and bowed his head, as if concentrating. After a minute, he shook his head.

"I don't think this is the right Shibuya, Sora," he decided.

"Huh? What do you mean, Riku?" asked Sora.

"I can't detect Joshua anywhere and there's a weird presence in the...space between the city and the world's Heart," said Riku.

Heart?

Intrigued, Niijima-senpai glanced into the alley, face mostly shielded by her magazine.

"Space?" Sora seemed to focus on despite his friend's ability to sense the metaphysical.

"Yeah, it's like it's part of this world. I have no idea how to get there," Riku sounded confused and annoyed.

"Maybe Master Yen Sid knows," Sora suggested.

"Yeah, he most likely does," Riku huffed, "c'mon let's go. I think we got noticed."

"Wha?" Sora looked around before spotting something, "is that a cat?"

Startled, Akira looked down and saw Morgana peering into the alley. He didn't even notice the cat getting out of the bag. What is he doing? Now they're all going to get caught.

"I don't think it's a cat," Morgana's ears twitched in surprise, "but it doesn't feel unfriendly."

"You think the World noticed?"

"Probably," Riku summoned a weird looking sword that looked key shaped, "let's go before it brings backup. We'll deal with this World later."

There was a bright light and Morgana yelped out a "A portal!"

The light attracted attention and soon there was a crowd of people watching a ring of light disappearing.

The crowd started grumbling about unscheduled events before dissipating.

Akira looked back in the empty alley. There was no sign of anyone being there.

He looked back at Niijima-senpai. She also looked as confused as he felt.

Akira sighed before crouching down before Morgana and offered his school bag. The not cat obediently jumped in.

"What was that?" Akira quietly asked.

"I...don't know," Morgana reluctantly admitted.

The fact that Morgana didn't know was worrying. Akira made a note to ask Igor when he got the chance to shake off the Student Council President. Maybe he would know.

* * *

"Fascinating," said Igor before making a note to dim the Door to the Velvet Room so it wouldn't act as a beacon to the Keyblade wielders the next time they reappeared.

After all, it would be prudent to make sure no one interferes with his plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Riku and Sora would then find another Shibuya that wasn't the Shibuya they were looking for. For one thing, there was a lot of people holding baby monsters and weird devices. The monsters' names all ended with 'mon.' Weird.)
> 
> Thanks to the latest trailers, I'm in a Kingdom Hearts mood and it got me to actually update.
> 
> This was part of an original idea where I just fling everything involving Shibuya at Akira and make him react. However, the only things I knew of that used Shibuya as a setting was The World Ends With You and technically season 4 of Digimon. I ended up dropping it and despaired as writer's block set in.
> 
> I'll be back the next time inspiration strikes.


	3. [X-Files theme plays in the distance]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which an alien invasion is thrown in to the mix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *climbs out of the Ni No Kuni 2 rabbit hole* WHAT YEAR IS THIS

Group text from Sakura-san (12:10 PM) to Akira, Futaba: Draalgons are approaching cafe. Do not trust me until all clear.

Group text from Sakura-san (12:11 PM): Safe word not 'mocha frap'

"Draalgons?" said Akira out loud, incredulous. Never mind the Futaba person Sakura-san also texted (eh, a girlfriend most likely). Just...what the hell?

"Shit, they're back?" said Mishima as he picked at his bento.

"Ugh, I hope not," groaned a boy next to him.

"Celestia and her team can handle them, right?" said a short-haired girl to another girl with a gaudy looking badge on her uniform.

"I guess..." shivered the one with the badge.

Everyone's phones buzzed.

[Draalgons reported to be spotted in Nerima, Odaiba, and Yongen-Jaya. Please do not regard loved ones and neighbors with mistrust. A solution is currently underway.]

"Um..." began Akira, drawing attention to himself.

"Oh, yeah," said Mishima nervously, "Um...do you believe in aliens?"

"...What?"

"Aliens," Mishima repeated.

"...We get those too?" asked Akira in disbelief.

"Yeah," Ann butted in, "today's flavor is the Draalgons. They try invading us all the time by kidnapping people and shape-shifting into them to try to infiltrate the government or whatever their goal is. Who do you know that got ganked?"

"My guardian, it looks like."

His phone buzzed. He looked at the message.

Group text from Sakura-san (12:20 PM): Starbucks

"But he hates that place," Akira said quietly.

"Then I guess you should sleep with a bat by your bed," Ann suggested, "Or you could just fling Morgana at his double if he creeps on you at like 2 AM."

The bell rang, signifying the end of lunch. Kawakami-sensei strolled into the room, "Alright everyone, do you have a code phrase ready?"

"Yes," said most of the students and one by one each spoke a word out loud.

"Er," said Akira when it was his turn, "Herlock Sholmes?"

Somewhere in the sea of his soul, Arsene hummed in approval.

* * *

When Akira returned to the cafe later in the evening, Sakura-san was behind the counter as usual. He had a strange device in his hand.

"What's that?" Akira asked.

"This?" Sakura-san held it up, "it's an electronic cigarette. I think the kids these days call it 'dabbing'?"

"...I guess," Akira felt incredibly weirded out.

"Anyway, here's your dinner," said Sakura-san, a little too quickly. He waved a hand to the plate on the counter.

"Thanks, but, I'm not really hungry."

Sakura-san frowned, "And this is the thanks I get for taking you in?"

"Um..."

"And where's Prince?" He's still hooked on that name? Eesh...

"With Ann. He pretty much declared her his favorite after she got him sushi."

"Good. _Now eat your dinner._ "

It was probably a test. Yeah, maybe Sakura-san fought off the aliens but has no idea if Akira is human or not.

In the end, Akira ate his dinner, went upstairs to open his window to allow Morgana inside (if Ann ever let him out tonight), did some homework and, thanks to Morgana's conditioning, went to bed unprompted.

* * *

The next morning, Akira came down stairs. Sakura-san was stationed behind the counter as usual. A plate of food sat on the counter.

"Hey," said Sakura-san.

"Hey," replied Akira before he sat down and ate breakfast.

* * *

The station in Yongen-jaya was filled with a tense atmosphere as everyone eyed their surroundings in suspicion. A college student made eye contact with Akira and watched as the teen brushed hair away from his eyes. The elder looked away, satisfied.

* * *

"Oh, hey," greeted Ann as Akira walked into the classroom. Several of his classmates looked at him in suspicion but he ignored them.

"How's Morgana?" asked Akira as he sat down.

"He's here, don't worry," said Ann in a carefully neutral tone. Their classmates watched as she pulled the cat out of the bag and placed it on Akira's desk. Morgana stared at his owner for a moment before sniffing his outstretched hand.

And then he rubbed his face along Akira's arm, purring.

The tension in the room broke apart and there was a large sigh of relief. Oh gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, everyone.

"Okay, everyone," called Kawakami-sensei, who had walked in just as the 'Cat Test' started, "Do you remember your codes from yesterday?"

Morgana hopped down to the floor and meowed at the boy behind Akira, "Hey, pencil kid, I can't believe I'm actually doing this but let me smell you."

"Ultra Spoons," said the boy before he leaned down to pet the cat.

"You smell human," said Morgana as he purred, "you're good." He went to the next person.

"...Alright," shrugged Kawakami-sensei, "I guess we're doing that too."

"Wow, this is going make today so much easier," she muttered under her breath.

* * *

The whole classroom, in the end, passed the 'totally a human' test and Morgana returned to his hiding spot in Akira's desk.

It wasn't until after school when things got confusing.

"Hey asshole!" shouted Akira Kurusu at Akira Kurusu as he, Ann, and Ryuji passed through the school gate.

"Um," said Akira.

This only served to aggravate his double more and curious students fanned around them.

"Didn't his cat give class 2-D the all clear?" somebody in the crowd whispered.

"It did," said a girl's voice.

"Dude," opined Ryuji.

"What the fuck are you doing with my face?" queried Kurusu.

"I was born with it?" quipped Akira.

"Shouldn't we do the cat test again?" someone said.

"You got my cat too, asshole?" said Kurusu.

"I'm surprised you can see that without your glasses," Akira shot back.

"S-shut up!"

"Alright, cat," said Ryuji as unzipped Akira's bag and lifted Morgana out, "do your thing."

"Ugh, do I have to?" whined Morgana. He complied anyway. He sniffed Akira before trotting over to his double. He sniffed the other boy before rubbing his side against Kurusu's legs.

"See? She knows who I am."

Ryuji, Ann, and Akira looked at one another as students whispered their shock.

Akira pushed up his glasses, "Well, now, I guess I'll have to change vets because how did we miss that?"

"Quit pretending to be me!" Kurusu glared.

"If you're really this guy," said Ryuji, "then what's your name?"

"What the fuck, Ryoji," said Kurusu as he picked up Morgana while missing Ryuji's smirk of triumph, "what's your problem? You know its me."

"Stop effin' around and tell us," Ryuji shot back.

"Fine," the double rolled his eyes, "Ren Amamiya. Happy?"

Silence rolled through the crowd.

"...Wow," sighed Akira as Ann facepalmed.

The cat glanced up at Ren.

"I think we just fucked up, Captain," said the cat.

"Did it just talk?" Mishima asked.

'Ren' and 'Morgana' looked at each other before looking back at the humans. After a few moments, they fled.

Akira watched as the crowd dispersed now that the drama ended, "It's not even June yet. Is this gonna get weirder?"

* * *

"This assignment has been a disaster," groaned 'Ren' as he ran while holding his subordinate.

"Tell me about it," complained 'Morgana,' "being tiny and walking on four legs is _weird_."

"Freeze, Draalgons!" shouted a group of soldiers as they ambushed the pair.

"Worst. First Mission. Ever," whined the two aliens.

* * *

"If that wasn't Morgana, then where is he?" Ann lowered her gaze away from Akira, guilty.

"He's probably waitin' for us in Mementos," Ryuji guessed.

Akira's phone buzzed.

Sakura-san (4:30 PM): Blue Mountain.

Akira (4:30 PM): Welcome back.

Akira (4:31 PM): Have you seen Morgana?

Sakura-san (4:31 PM): No.

Akira (4:32 PM): ...Shit. I'm gonna be back late.

Akira (4:33 PM): Gonna look for cat.

Akira (4:33 PM): Also who is Futaba?

Sakura-san (4:34 PM): None of your business.

Akira (4:34 PM): Alright

Akira closed the app and opened the Meta Nav.

"You guys ready?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This went longer than expected.
> 
> Alright so, Draalgons are supposed to be a double reference to Marvel (Skrull if I wiki-walked correctly) and Doctor Who (Zygons). And originally this was supposed to end with the reveal as Akira being the Alien. And one possible ending was that the aliens were driven off by local magical girls. Maybe they were but Akira wasn't around to see it.
> 
> My ideas are coming back now that I've been writing again. So look forward to a new chapter soon. :D

**Author's Note:**

> I meant this to be a stupid crackfic but it kinda got serious orz.
> 
> There's no set schedule to this fic. It'll be updated whenever I get around to it.


End file.
